Anne Malatt on Life

I have always loved to treat myself, to reward myself for working hard, to give myself something to make up for what I felt I was lacking, to substitute for love.

What were these treats?

• When I was little, they were sweets. We were allowed one ice cream every Sunday morning, and that was our weekly treat. That was my religion – I looked forward to and savoured that moment all week!

• On birthdays, we had parties with sweet treats – fairy bread, blancmange, cake. I used to save some of my birthday cake to have for breakfast the next day ­– it was my favourite part of my birthday – a sweet treat to make up for the fact that it was no longer my special day.

• As I grew older, the nature of the sugar changed – tiramisu, pavlova, champagne, chocolate, liqueurs – but in essence it remained the same.

Why the need for these treats?

I always felt cheated by life. I felt that somehow I had missed out, missed the point of it, that something was missing. Life never felt enough for me. I never felt enough for me.

As time went by, these sweet treats were never enough either. I was a bottomless pit of need. I could never get enough sweets to make me feel good. I got fatter, sicker, sadder, heavier, trying to fill the emptiness inside me.

There came a time when I knew I could not go on like this, that there had to be another way. I went searching for different ways to fulfil myself and finally, after a long hard road, with many false trails and dead ends, I found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

There I learned that everything was inside me. That there was nothing outside that was greater than me. I learned to connect with the greatness in me through the simplicity of breathing my own breath. And through this connection I have gradually learned to listen to my body, which holds the living wisdom of everything I have ever lived and known.

In this way I have learned to truly treat myself. To treat myself with kindness, gentleness and loving care. To treat myself with the love I deserve, because I am love and I come from love.

And on the days when I struggle and go looking for sugar, I see that as a sign, showing me that I am not my true self, and an invitation to stop, go deeper, and come back to myself, where everything already is.

Now, every day is a treat. And every day I treat myself – with love.